Tips To Building A Healthy Relationship
Healthy relationships do not just happen. There is an art and science to building strong relationships. Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being. Yet with more than 40 percent of new marriages ending in divorce, it’s clear that relationships aren’t always easy. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to keep your romantic partnership in good working order.
These are indispensable tips, written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family, and even work relationships.
A. Know what you can give.
This will unlock the secret of what you want from the relationship, because after all love is all about give and take. So know what you can do for him or her and for your relationship before expecting something from the other.
B. Connect with the different parts of yourself.
Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your “gut” saying?
For example: My mind is saying “definitely leave her,” but my heart says “I really love her.”
Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self. It is important that there is sync between all the voices inside you concerning your relationship.
C. Talking openly.
Communication is a key piece of healthy relationships. Healthy couples make time to check in with one another on a regular basis. It’s important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household, however. Try to spend a few minutes each day discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term.
Disagreements are part of any partnership, but some fighting styles are particularly damaging. Couples that use destructive behavior during arguments — such as yelling, resorting to personal criticisms or withdrawing from the discussion — are more likely to break up than are couples that fight constructively. Examples of constructive strategies for resolving disagreements include attempting to find out exactly what your partner is feeling, listening to his or her point of view and trying to make him or her laugh.
D. Ask for what you want.
Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.
E. Love yourself more.
Start loving yourself, your personality and what you stand for. You cannot give unless you have, and the same holds true for love too. You cannot be a good lover unless you love yourself first.
“Love is not a relationship, love is a state of being; it has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not “in love”, one is love. And of course when one is love, one is in love – but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love.”