Battle 1- Diary of a Christian Woman
As soon as I cleared out the dinner table, I went into the bedroom, not bothering to say goodnight to Kenny in the living room. I knew he was going to be coming to bed soon enough. I needed him to think I was fast asleep by the time he came to bed. I quickly got into the bathroom and had a quick shower before climbing the bed. I made sure I put on my long pajamas so there was no way he could have access to my body. About an hour later, when I heard him climb into the bed and turn the other way, I finally let out my breath I was holding. I manage to escape the sex tonight.
Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake
By the time I woke up in the morning,I knew we were going to have another round of noise and fight, I quickly said a silent prayer to God for strength. I could feel his hands roaming round my body relentlessly and there was no doubt in my mind what the expected end result would be. I opened my eyes and took a glimpse at the clock on the wall. It just 6am. I turned and tried to get up only to be pulled back. By the third time of going through the same motion, he finally spoke up. “Babe, what is the excuse today? It has been 2 weeks for Christ sake. How am I supposed to be happy if you wont even have sex with me?” he said with obvious frustration in his voice.
So your happiness is now tied to sex?
“So your happiness is now tied to sex? You still don’t get it do you? I am doing this for us. For our home and our future. I told you before I started this was going to happen and you agreed and now you want to make me feel guilty. seriously I’m confused.”
“Omolami, you know I’m not opposed to prayer and fasting. I love God too and i go to church but you cannot honestly expect me not to have sex for the next 100 days just because you want to fast”
I was so angry at that statement and I flared up, seriously Kenny, are you kidding me right now? What happen to self control? This just shows how far you have fallen from the faith. Is this not the same you that use to fast with me before we got married? So all that spirituality was a lie? Did we not court for two years without sex? So, you must have been cheating on me”
Omolami, you know I’m not opposed to prayer and fasting.
“What how can you say that? Are you crazy? how can you even compare both scenarios? I was single then, now I’m married. Why did i get married if I can’t have sex?”
“Oh! so now, I am a sex machine? You married me for the sex?” I asked.
“You know what I won’t waste my time having this fruitless conversation with you. I am warning you for the last time. I won’t take this your fasting bullshit and you will learn to respect me in this house. If this is the rubbish they are teaching you in church, I will stop you from going there”
” You won’t dare Kehinde Ayorinde! You dare not. If I ever have to choose between you and my God, trust me you will loose. It is God first and you second. That devil that is trying to use you, will not find a place.”
” Try me Lola, just try me” he said as he walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
I walked out of the room and went into the kitchen heartbroken. As I went about making Kenny’s lunch that he usually takes to work I was so sad. I didn’t understand Kenny’s bitterness towards my relationship with God. I didn’t expect to have these kind of issues just 6 months after marriage. He knew how much I loved God and how much the relationship means to me and he was proving so difficult. We talked about this while we were courting and he used to tell me how much he loved my passion for God. We have tried getting pregnant for the past 5 months and nothing has happened and i knew I needed to tackle it in prayer before 5 months turned to 15 years and I told him I needed to join the 100 days fast in church. Initially, he had agreed to join me but after 3 days he stopped. I didn’t get offended, I decided to do the prayers myself, i just didn’t expect him to be so bitter about it. As I finished packing his lunch about 30 minutes later, Kenny came out fully dressed and just walked pass me without picking up his food as usual. I quickly ran after him and caught up with him just as he was getting into his car. ” You didn’t take your food” I said.
” Take that rubbish food and get out of my sight. I don’t want your food, now or never until you learn to respect me and until you decide what is more important to you” he said and slammed the door, driving away while I stood there mouth agape.
We had lot of disagreement over sex in the last 2 weeks but I had never seen Kenny so bitter before. I knew there and then I needed to pray for my home.