The Power Of Communication For A Blissful Marriage- Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Communication is the process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people information Most homes today have been turned into ‘graveyards’ because the couples have not given any place to this wonderful gem designed by God for an enjoyable marriage. The basis for a fruitful and lasting relationship is the ability to give expression to thoughts and feelings. Someone once said, “Without Communication, there is no relationship”. How true! That is why you must master the art of communication for that blissful family life you desire.
Types of Communication:
Verbal Communication: Words play a major part in communication. But the right kind of words must be in place at the right time. The Bible says: Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones (Proverbs 16:24).Communication in the home must be with love and respect.
Firstly, love is not love until it is expressed. What you believe in your heart, say it with your mouth. No one can read minds; and until thoughts are voiced they remain your private property. Learn to speak kind words of appreciation often (Proverbs 10:11; 15:23). Love means asking, “Could you do this please?” You’re not begging neither are you demanding! It’s a mixture of authority and courtesy. Jesus’ love typifies this. He died for all, that’s true; but because of His love, He gives us the liberty to choose to either serve Him or not.
Love goes beyond demanding. You are not permitted to make irrelevant demands of one another. Making requests and not demands is not a sign of weakness! In fact, it is a proof of strength because it takes the strong in character to sidetrack human ego.
Secondly, in mastering the art of verbal communication, you must learn to respect one another. The Bible says: Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love (Ephesians 4:2). Patience is proof of respect. The people you respect you are careful in the way you address them. You don’t talk carelessly to a person you hold in high esteem.
Rudeness is not love. Couples who are in the habit of speaking rudely to one another are not doing themselves any good. Derogatory remarks and sarcasm can’t please God. It only brings strife and tension to the home. It takes respect for communication to have meaning. Sometimes, you may have different opinions about an issue, learn to communicate your opinion in love and respectfully. Respect for one another will help to enhance your communication skills.
Non-verbal communication: Someone rightly said, “Actions speaks louder than words”. How true! There is a place for words, but there’s a place much more for actions. Actions, facial expressions, body language, letters, are all in this category. Touching is an aspect of action. It communicates warmth. Sometimes, a touch speaks just as much as words. It communicates “I am in touch with you”. It keeps the fire burning when words are clumsy. A cold impersonal family refrains from touching. They are aloof and withdrawn. The atmosphere in the house is usually tense. When a husband, for instance, puts his arms around his wife or even the children, it brings warmth that neither money nor words can produce. Couples are to be “ravished” by each other’s love! …. Be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:19). “Ravished” means transported by delight. It works!
You need to understand that of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important. For example, there is a way you can express displeasure without uttering a word. Just by watching your partners body language you can tell when they are angry, sad, excited, etc. For example, a look from your husband can send a clear message to you which no one else may understand. That is non-verbal communication and it is very important for family success
Another aspect of love in action requires giving gifts. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. God so loved the world that He gave His son (John 3:16). If you claim to love, it must find expression in giving thoughtful little gifts. A little gift at the right time to your partner, can work wonders! It has the power to energize your relationship and make it more precious in the eyes of each spouse. Remember Elkanah and Hannah. Elkanah was sensitive to the needs of his wife (I Samuel 1:4-5). Elkanah had so mastered the art of ministering to Hannah’s emotional needs to a degree that he could say to her: … am I not better to thee than ten sons? (I Samuel 1:8).
I’ll never forget an experience I had some years ago. There was a time when I was really down physically. My husband went out one of those days and came back with a little gift, beautifully wrapped and personally presented to me to further express his love for me. Could you believe that that little act of love from him brought me health and I never needed medication? Many years have passed, but I still have that gift, well preserved, till today. Nobody hates to be loved.