New Year’s resolutions are a longstanding tradition around the world, dating back to ancient Babylonian and Roman customs. In modern times, New Year’s resolutions have become popular in western culture, typically revolving around self-improvement goals, such as better eating, exercising more, and spending less. Unfortunately, the tradition is typically unsuccessful. There’s no firm data, but a 2007 study reported on the site Quirkology revealed that 88% of 3,000 adults who set New Year’s resolutions failed, despite the fact that 52% were confident of success at the beginning. This highlights how modern culture leads us to focus more on goal-setting than goal completion.
Here are 10 tips to achieve your New Year’s resolutions in 2019:
Taking on a large goal is tempting, but it’s also the most sure-fired way to fail. If the goal is too much of a stretch, it can fuel a downward cycle: lack of achievement, decreased motivation, and self-criticism. By starting small, you increase the likelihood of taking the vital action steps, and each “win” helps build your belief that you can achieve your goals. This creates an upward spiral of confidence, motivation, optimism, and competence: all key ingredients of self-efficacy and success. Gary Hamel, author of the 2007Amazon best business book of the year, The Future of Management, defines the key to success as “win small, win early, win often.”
Envision a day in the future where you’ve accomplished your resolution. Close your eyes and sit for a few minutes, letting yourself bask in the experience of having reached your goal. Experiencing this wonderful state is much more motivating than berating yourself over something you weren’t able to accomplish. It can help you shift your focus to self-motivating questions such as “what small step can I take TODAY to help me get to this feeling?” and “what is a new way of thinking about my goal that will help me experience more of this feeling?”
Let go of old goals.
If you haven’t moved forward on a goal year after year, it’s time to think about what’s holding you back. Putting something on the list after years of not succeeding can start the year off with a sense of shame and disappointment. One option here is to include a resolution to forgive yourself for things you didn’t accomplish and start taking credit for all that you do achieve.
Keep your list short.
Would you rather succeed at three out of three resolutions or one out of ten? It’s much easier to focus on a small number of goals than a long list. And think of the satisfaction you’ll have checking each one off!
Focus on “wants” instead of “shoulds.”
Focus on what you truly want to achieve, rather than on things you believe you “should” be achieving. To be successful at any life change, you have to really want it. It pays to take the time to consider what it is that you truly want, teasing out the things others have said you should do or stop doing. Similarly, Ryan and Deci’s theory of self-determination tells us that intrinsic motivation is much more powerful than that generated by external forces.
Resolve to “be” instead of “do.”
Make sure to include resolutions that involve “being” and not just ones that require “doing.” For example, a resolution could be: “This year, I will have more moments of being present with my family, times where I’m not focusing on all the work I have to get done.” “Being” resolutions are ones that you can achieve at any time. Even if you stray on a “being” resolution, you can accomplish the goal the next day… or even in the next hour.
Start every day off by planning one small step you’ll take to get closer to your goal. This method of breaking down the larger goal into more feasible parts is a great way to make incremental change. It also reminds you that you, truly, are in charge of your fate.