How To Choose A Life Partner
Here are a key things to note in choosing a life partner:
1. Don’t let lust be your guide:
People have a tendency to put up with a lot of crap from someone they are dating when they feel a magnetic chemistry with them. Magnetic chemistry has a strong power because it isn’t something that happens often.
When we find someone we have magnetic chemistry with, not only is it an aphrodisiac that we can’t get enough of but we also confuse it with the right person (e.g., “this must be right if I feel this strongly!”). Magnetic chemistry is great but doesn’t excuse bad behaviour because of it.
2. Don’t make choices out of fear:
So many times people either choose a partner or stay with someone in an unhappy relationship predominantly out of some kind of fear. Usually, that fear is being alone but fears can vary widely from person to person. It’s often better to be alone and wait for the right person than to make a decision out of fear. Making decisions out of fear leads to confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of something being amiss.
3. Find someone you can be yourself around:
This may sound cliched but it’s true. Picking a partner where you feel like you can be 100 per cent yourself with no judgment and complete acceptance is a wonderful and liberating feeling. In life, it can be difficult to find venues where you can truly be yourself. A relationship should be your safe and comfortable place where you don’t have to keep a mask on.
4. Look for qualities that are the foundation of a good partnership:
The qualities of a person that helps to build the foundation of a good partnership are Empathy, integrity, honesty, reliability, kindness and emotional generosity.
If you find these qualities in someone, be curious about pursuing it further, even if they may not seem like your type on the surface. Other criteria, like “sense of humour,” “world traveller,” and “good dancer” are nice-to-haves but don’t necessarily have to be there for you to be happy in your relationship.
5. Be careful of jumping into a committed relationship Immediately:
It can be tempting to jump into a committed relationship quickly when you find someone you have a fiery connection with. However, you don’t really know that person yet and you’re getting emotionally invested in someone that you don’t know much about. As time progresses, you may find out things that you really don’t like or that you’re truly not compatible with this person.
Because you invested so much emotional energy quickly, this can hurt a lot more than it would have if you had taken time to get to know the person before putting your whole heart into the relationship.
When we’re in the “romantic” stages of the beginning of a relationship, we are often making choices out of lust and fantasy-like projections instead of reality and logic. It’s important to remain grounded and patient when deciding to be seriously committed to someone.