Eden or Eve? ……(for the engaged MEN )
My dear friend, in this life, we should sit down and get a honest feedback concerning our actions and relationships. Your woman did not become emotionally detached for no just cause. You’ve been pushing her for sometime. It’s just that her back is against the wall this time. You remember how many days and months of toasting before it took you to win that lady. Now she’s with you and you suddenly stopped pursuing after her.
I learnt you are trying to take a ‘new territory’. See, even if you’re dating miss world, chances are you’d meet more beautiful damsels. After your wedding, that will keep happening. So you can’t just be ‘conquering territories’ and moving to another one. Males are shifting cultivators but men are gardeners. And you should be a man, anyone can be a male.
Your emotional insensitivity has been hitting the roof recently. You don’t have her time anymore. She’s been trying to take in all your misdemeanors and that will mean debiting them from your emotional bank account with her. Believe me, your account would soon go red. And one of the terrible signals that will make you know is her silence. Once she gets passive and talks less often, start getting ready for benediction.
Now let’s get to some business. You can make any woman become the most adorable being that adds bliss and glamour to your world. A chunk of that power lies in your tongue! Make her confidence and beauty get invigorated by the acknowledgement of every good in her! That’s my version of a scripture and it really works for them. Cherish her with your mouth. Give her oral and written doses. The more she gets, she more radiance you’d see. That may just be the reason why the other woman looks good. Someone was tending his garden while you left yours!
You need to roll up your sleeves as talking is not enough. That’s why your words should have commensurate action. Buy good stuff for her, spoil her silly, take her out. Give her “slide shows” to flip through when you’re not around. I mean pleasant memories of your tenderness, affection, and care.
You should do your best to replace telemundo on her fantasy screen. And let your gestures be regular. Regular bits are better than haphazard “wows”.
Let her see that you made some effort doing what you did. Get advice but I don’t think you should send people to get things for her alone. You should go with them. She’s not one of those things. She’s the real deal. Let me ask you: how much of her size specifications do you know? Clothes, shoes, other dimensions?
Her sense of security is not something you can trifle with. Sometimes the “feeling of security” outweighs real security for them. So, let her both be secure and FEEL secure. She’s been watching you when you look at curves around. Believe me, she most likely caught you. So it’s either you look up to heaven or you look at her. If you’re not satisfied, Dr. 90210 is around the corner!
I know you’re a ladies’ man but you should know that those ladies wouldn’t love to be in her shoes too. No woman wants to share her man. Women love their territory! Respect that if you don’t want issues. The other aspect to her feeling secure is your openness. Let her have your password! I know you like to process things on your own but this your isolation mode is making her afraid. One thing you should know is that though she might not have the answers, her emotional support alone can load you with massive energy to
face the challenge(may you know the power of a woman!). Open the door and let her in.
Make sure you’re doing your very best to help her achieve her dreams. Don’t trap her. Please don’t. Her mood is the aroma of your environment and your home (when you get married). While it is true that our commitment to one another will necessitate sacrifices, I don’t think you should force her to make hers. It’s a sacrifice, not a tax. For the records, I do not believe her passion, genuine dreams and purpose are for sacrifice. If her commitment to you would starve her PERMANENTLY of what gives her deep
seated satisfaction, then she’s not yours! One of the fears of women (especially those who are handling real things) is to have a man whose change in character alters their commitment to what pumps them with energy. Believe me, if she’s not truly happy, kiss your happiness goodbye too.
Listening in between the lines is critical. Make sure you’re hearing what she’s not saying. One of the ways to convert the emotional voice to the physical voice is by listening to the physical voice more. Sometimes the diagnosis and treatment of their condition is in her speech. But if you don’t listen deep, she won’t talk up to that level. Don’t try to fix everything. Just listen. Signals are important to her. Please listen, don’t
Your productivity is key. Once there’s significant emotional, mental or productive discordance, your relationship might be at risk. Let her be proud of you. GO TO WORK! Even if you don’t earn as much in cash, the aggregate of your intellectual, physical,spiritual and emotional capital should be high enough to engender her respect. If your skill and advice is what makes her business grow, you think she’d disappear? If your spiritual oversight makes her feel safe, I don’t think she would take you lightly.
Don’t thrive on past glories. Get better everyday. Do it for her! Women like to gist about their lovers; both his acts (your romantic moves) and his repute(character and productivity). Let her have something to say.
Real men are watchmen. THEY PRAY. It’s better to watch and lock your gates than to have to dislodge unwanted entities after they’ve gained entry. Make sure you’re “online” spiritually. Enough of this strange trend where lazy men want prayerful and devout women. Real men are watchmen.
So dear friend, your baby is amazing! She really is adorable. Call for the woman in her and you’d feel like the best gardener on the globe. Stop scattering your efforts on those ladies. Other men would come for them. Cherish your love. If you allow another man take over management and she starts glowing, you might not be happy. When you see a good woman, don’t ever try to lose her for anything.
Hmmm… I’ve said a lot, right. I would have loved to tell you I have a 100% score but that’s not true. I’m still improving everyday and you can do the same. Whether to Eden or Eve, we have the same job description as men – to tend tenderly.
So, let’s get to work and make our gardens the envy of all.