7 Reasons Christian Parents Should Talk Sex To Their Children
Many Christian parents often shy away from talking sex with their children. Some feel it means exposing them to the danger of sexual abuse while others feel it’s best they find out when they are grown enough to learn the truth about sex themselves. But the real truth is that you parents are the ones actually exposing these children to the danger you think you’re shielding them from because in the real sense they know but wouldn’t discuss it with you for fear of been punished.
Sex also has social, communal, emotional, and spiritual components. To neglect that would be to put ourselves at risk.
In an age when puberty is happening earlier and marriage is happening later, children must wrestle with the issue of sexual restraint more than any preceding generation. Educating our children about the gravity of the act with its various components helps to balance out the pervasively superficial cultural view. It’s also an entry point for a biblical discussion about sex – one in which sex is certainly celebrated, but framed as well.
1. Remember that talking about sex is more of a process than a confrontation. This can remove tension on both sides and invite meaningful dialogue.
2. Statistically speaking, we need to communicate important messages over 7 times. Just having one good talk about sex isn’t enough to ingrain the message.
3. In order for the message to really hit home, a teenager needs to hear the same message from 5 different adults. This is when cultivating relationships with other families who have similar values can be helpful.
4. We can’t parent out of our own pain or our own shame. Sexuality can be a constructive or destructive force. If we have experienced pain, we need to be able to separate our experience from that of our child’s – but that doesn’t mean neglecting to appropriately share our wisdom.
5. Don’t shelter yourself. Parents need to educate themselves. Have your children play their music for you, listen to conversations when driving carpool, and read school newspapers – do “field research” so that you can give poignant advice.
6. No age is too young to start answering questions. Gear your responses to your child’s age, and if they are on the younger side, invite them to tell you when they have heard enough to satisfy their curiosity without feeling uncomfortable.
7. Be sure to use the proper names for body parts in your discussions too; this simplifies the communication line and allows any adult to understand your child should there ever be a concern. (This is an important step in combating child abuse.)
On an issue this prominent in our culture, it’s a sad fact that the church has often been a lacking voice in the conversation. As influential as the church might be, however, Jason’s research shows that parents are more successful in transmitting values. So instead of pointing fingers, we as parents need to accept our own responsibility on the front lines. It’s an important first step.
FOOL will let his enemy teach is children…Malcom X.